Learning Good Behavior from a 4-Year-Old

When writing posts about parenting, I usually try to put my best foot forward. Sometimes I allow my readers glimpses of my weaknesses, but mostly the topics give me the opportunity to share from years of experience. This is one of those posts where I let my readers know that I’m far from perfect, because today’s two lessons on good behavior I have learned from a 4-year-old. My daughter, Amanda, is that 4-year-old.

The first lesson I learned is on sharing. I have a sweet tooth. In the first years of married life, if I bought a soft-serve ice-cream and my husband wanted to share it, I’d tell him to buy his own one. If I had a candy bar, oh baby, I wanted that thing all for myself! For some reason, my husband loves sharing my sweet indulgences. It works with him the other way too. If he has something that looks really good, he will never not share it with me. Over time, I loosened up in the area of sharing.

So, what has Amanda taught me on that subject? She has taught me about the joy of sharing. She would rather share her few Smarties (M&Ms) than keep them for herself. You should see the smile on her face when she goes around to every member of our family with candy in her hand. I have tried to stop her from sharing in the past. That’s because we don’t allow her a whole kid’s size box (with M&Ms it would be a small packet) at once. We limit the amount that she’s allowed to eat just like we did with our other kids.

I would reason with her whenever I suggested that she shouldn’t share. My reasoning was that there are six members in our family, and if she shared her few treats with everyone, she’d have hardly any left for herself. Once, I even put my foot down, but you should have seen how sad that made her. I felt really bad. She wasn’t uncomprehending what I was trying to say, she was just finding more joy in sharing than having those extra sweets for herself. Now, I’ve learned that there is a greater joy in sharing than in self-indulging.

The second lesson I learned from her is on having a gracious attitude. Yesterday, she demonstrated it so well for hubby and me. Every Thursday she’s allowed to take her little Disney Princesses bicycle to school with her. It’s part of her teacher’s preschool program for the kids, and she loves taking her bike, but sometimes we forget.

Amanda said to her daddy this time, “Daddy, it’s okay if you forget. Teacher also has bikes that we can use.” Her words were like a healing balm to my soul. If someone forgets to do something that I’ve asked them to do, then I throw a small fit. I need to be more gracious toward the people in my life.

Related post: Learning Doesn’t Only Happen in School

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Having fun with Pinterest - Part 2

I shared in my previous post how Amanda and I have been having fun with the paint projects I’ve learned about on Pinterest. I’ve also picked up a few new recipes and even tried one. There seems to be something about almost anything on this site.

There can also be a down side to all of it. For example, I’ve been enjoying looking at the many wonderful kids’ rooms concepts over the past few weeks. Amanda shares a room with her sister, Samantha, and posters are the main decoration on their walls. I began to think that their walls don’t look good enough anymore. It’s normal to want to keep up with modern trends, but it’s not always possible.

It began to weigh a little bit on my heart, but I didn’t voice my concern. So, I was quite surprised when, out of the blue, Amanda brought up the subject herself. As I was putting her to bed, she began counting out loud the number of Hello Kitty and Barbie posters on her wall. Then she asked me why she had more Hello Kitty posters than Barbie posters. For some reason she omitted her My Little Pony posters from the discussion. I gave her some short answer. Yes, I was being impatient, maybe because it had become a sensitive subject for me.

Then she said something that blew me away. She ended with, “My room is perfect!” I realize, once again, that God loves me, because that just says it all.

You might like to read “Out of the Mouths of Babes” if you haven’t already.

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Out of the Mouths of Babes

Giving thanks for fish and chips

I mentioned previously that Amanda had been sick. When your child is sick, it’s often difficult to know what’s wrong and if you need to take him/her to the doctor. If you do take your child to the doctor, the doctor will decide what the problem is, but there is room for error even with all the learning and years of experience that your doctor will have had. At the end of the day, you know your child and you must go with your gut feeling to insure his/her good health.

Two days ago, I was still worrying about Amanda. It wasn’t clear to me if she was on the road to complete recovery. Deep down I knew that she was, but there was a specific moment that I doubted myself. It was at that precise moment, as the worry thoughts passed through my mind, that Amanda voiced what I had not said. “Mom, don’t worry, I’m fine.”

How did my child know what I was thinking? How did she know what to say at the right time? It was so specifically appropriate that I decided to heed her advice. Out of the mouths of babes, God speaks (Luke 10:21).

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