Never Underestimate Your Kids

Amanda and her big brother, Jeremiah, have a special bond. When we first shared our news with the kids that I was pregnant with our fourth child, Jeremiah was so thrilled that he ran to tell his friends who lived nearby. To be honest, I wasn’t sure how the kids would react to the news and so I was a little surprised that he was so excited.

Yesterday, Amanda told me about a conversation that her brother had with her. She told me that he had said how adorable and precious she was. She then told him how special he was to her. As she was telling me this, I could see that it touched her deeply. Amanda finished off by saying, “It was so sad.”

I asked her, “Don’t you mean ‘so sweet?’”

“No, Mom. It was sad. You can be happy and sad at the same time.”

Her choice of words was unusual, but I realized that she was speaking about something touching her so deeply that it almost hurt. I had explained to her before in movies why some people cry when they’re very happy. Later I told Jeremiah the odd thing she had said and he replied, “She’s a philosopher.”

Never underestimate your kids’ abilities to understand and reason no matter how young they are. I think adults in general are too quick to brush kids aside thinking they are too young to say anything of value and therefore don’t need to be heard. I have known my kids to say profound things at just the right moments.

I recommend you read (if you haven’t already), “Out of the Mouths of Babes.”

I took the above photo of Jeremiah with his baby sister, Amanda, in 2008.

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Learning Doesn’t Only Happen in School

Amanda goes to a playgroup five days a week. It’s wonderful for her, because they paint and make things, they sing and dance to children’s music, play on the playground, do movement games and more. For a while now, she’s been learning to write the first letter of her name. She likes to include the letter “A” in many of her drawings and she likes to find it on signs and labels.

Yesterday, I bought M&Ms and shared them out with my family of six. Smarties are the common candy in South Africa, but even though the candies look similar, they are very different to the taste buds. I think my craving for something American was brought on by all the mouth-watering American desserts I see regularly pinned on Pinterest, but I hardly ever buy M&Ms because they are a bit pricy over here.

I enjoyed looking at the colors with Amanda and I showed her the “m” on each candy and explained that it comes after the “A” in Amanda. I sounded out the letter for her too. She wasn’t quite convinced, so I also showed her how her name looked on one of her art projects from playgroup. She has been learning to copy the letters of her first name and so when she saw the “m” on her project, she recognized it.

You can use M&Ms or Smarties to teach a life principle as well. Rob and I were youth pastors in a post-apartheid nation in 1996. I took Smarties with me to one of our youth groups and had the kids observe the candies. I pointed out that even though the candies look different on the outside, they still taste the same on the inside, meaning that our differences are only skin deep.

While we were eating the M&Ms, I took the opportunity to tell Jessica and Samantha the same analogy. Jessica then mentioned how she had been having trouble with a teenager at school making racist comments about people that she likes. I think he does it on purpose just to get a reaction out of her. Anyway, I told her the next time he’s eating Smarties, she should tell him my analogy. Rob and I also encourage her to keep him at arm’s length. I wrote about the impact people have in our lives in “Blessed to Have You in Our Life” along with a word of advice on the subject.

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Family Outings

I have four kids who are at different stages of their lives and who have different likes and dislikes. They are individuals and I treat them as such. They are also part of a family unit and as a family we do things together whether they all feel like it or not. They don't always want to come along on family outings, but when I see them all enjoying themselves then I’m satisfied that my husband and I insisted the unwilling one (or ones) join us.

There’s also wisdom in not always insisting that everyone comes along on one of our outings. I also want to enjoy myself and there’s nothing worse than having a sour participant at my side. One outing that I knew wouldn’t suit my kids was a tour of privately owned gardens in the area. It was a fundraiser for the Deaf Institute.

Not too many kids would want to give up their Saturday or Sunday looking at other people’s gardens. However, we have one child that we knew would enjoy herself… Amanda. She loves outings. We brought her along without hesitation. All three of us had a wonderful day of it. Rob and I especially enjoyed watching Amanda take pleasure exploring the beauty around her.

Photo Above: My husband, Rob, took this photo of the kids and me during a holiday on South Africa’s west coast.

Photo Below: Amanda is being a garden nymph on our tour of privately owned gardens.

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Horse Stories - Part 2

Amanda has been picking out books about horses these past couple of days. The day before it was Black Beauty and now it’s The Lipizzaners Share Their Secrets, written by Maureen Dalglish and illustrated by Nicole Houzé. In this book there are eight short stories and so I’ve been reading one a day. The stories are simple enough for my four-year-old to understand and based on real South African Lipizzaner horses.

I don’t think that this book is available at bookshops. It appears to be a privately published book. My mother-in-law purchased a few copies some years back as the book was being sold to help raise funds for these amazing horses. I’ve added two links of interest, one is “Be a Friend” and the other is “The Horses.”

Whenever I’ve read a story to Amanda, she likes to have a turn to “read” it back to me. (I mentioned in the previous post how important this part of learning is for a child.) I loved hearing her telling me about the shy horse, Merlin, in the first story. It would have been so cool if I could have recorded what she had said and posted it here. This is something that I must do in the future. Photos make great memories, but so do recordings. I don’t want to miss these moments.

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Horse Stories - Part 1

Last night, when I told Amanda that I’d read to her in bed she said, “Yeah! I’m the luckiest!” That brought a smile to my face, but also a twinge of guilt. In truth, I should read to her more often, but I’m often leaving her to read to herself or I get one of her sisters to read to her.

The book she picked out this night was Black Beauty, re-told by Beryl Johnston and published by Grandreams Ltd. I read to her an even shorter version of it, often summarizing whole parts. She asked a few questions along the way.

Once the story was over, she “read” it back to me. This is part of her routine. In her mind, we’re taking turns. I first read to her and then it’s her turn to “read” to me. Sometimes I would rather she didn’t, because I want to get away and do something else. However, allowing her to tell the story again in her own words is a very important step in learning. According to Charlotte Mason (1842 - 1923), this is the "Act of Knowing."

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Out of the Mouths of Babes

Giving thanks for fish and chips

I mentioned previously that Amanda had been sick. When your child is sick, it’s often difficult to know what’s wrong and if you need to take him/her to the doctor. If you do take your child to the doctor, the doctor will decide what the problem is, but there is room for error even with all the learning and years of experience that your doctor will have had. At the end of the day, you know your child and you must go with your gut feeling to insure his/her good health.

Two days ago, I was still worrying about Amanda. It wasn’t clear to me if she was on the road to complete recovery. Deep down I knew that she was, but there was a specific moment that I doubted myself. It was at that precise moment, as the worry thoughts passed through my mind, that Amanda voiced what I had not said. “Mom, don’t worry, I’m fine.”

How did my child know what I was thinking? How did she know what to say at the right time? It was so specifically appropriate that I decided to heed her advice. Out of the mouths of babes, God speaks (Luke 10:21).

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Why We Don't Have a Cat

I took my dog for a walk this evening. It wasn’t late, but it was already dark outside. I was walking in my neighborhood where the street lights are scattered along the way, leaving patches of darkness between them. At one of these dark sections, we nearly walked into a dead cat. It gave me such a fright.

Nothing seemed wrong with it, except that it was stiff. Since the dead cat was lying next to the road, I figured that it must have been hit by a car. This reminded me of another incident that happened last year. The details were no longer clear in my mind, so I went to my Facebook to find the proper wording. This is what I had written:

Yesterday morning we were driving to school and I saw a beautiful dead cat on the road. I took the opportunity to tell Samantha that this was another reason why we didn't want to get a cat (she's been begging us for a kitten) and then Amanda replied, "But we don't want to get the dying kind. We want another kind."


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