Learning Good Behavior from a 4-Year-Old

When writing posts about parenting, I usually try to put my best foot forward. Sometimes I allow my readers glimpses of my weaknesses, but mostly the topics give me the opportunity to share from years of experience. This is one of those posts where I let my readers know that I’m far from perfect, because today’s two lessons on good behavior I have learned from a 4-year-old. My daughter, Amanda, is that 4-year-old.

The first lesson I learned is on sharing. I have a sweet tooth. In the first years of married life, if I bought a soft-serve ice-cream and my husband wanted to share it, I’d tell him to buy his own one. If I had a candy bar, oh baby, I wanted that thing all for myself! For some reason, my husband loves sharing my sweet indulgences. It works with him the other way too. If he has something that looks really good, he will never not share it with me. Over time, I loosened up in the area of sharing.

So, what has Amanda taught me on that subject? She has taught me about the joy of sharing. She would rather share her few Smarties (M&Ms) than keep them for herself. You should see the smile on her face when she goes around to every member of our family with candy in her hand. I have tried to stop her from sharing in the past. That’s because we don’t allow her a whole kid’s size box (with M&Ms it would be a small packet) at once. We limit the amount that she’s allowed to eat just like we did with our other kids.

I would reason with her whenever I suggested that she shouldn’t share. My reasoning was that there are six members in our family, and if she shared her few treats with everyone, she’d have hardly any left for herself. Once, I even put my foot down, but you should have seen how sad that made her. I felt really bad. She wasn’t uncomprehending what I was trying to say, she was just finding more joy in sharing than having those extra sweets for herself. Now, I’ve learned that there is a greater joy in sharing than in self-indulging.

The second lesson I learned from her is on having a gracious attitude. Yesterday, she demonstrated it so well for hubby and me. Every Thursday she’s allowed to take her little Disney Princesses bicycle to school with her. It’s part of her teacher’s preschool program for the kids, and she loves taking her bike, but sometimes we forget.

Amanda said to her daddy this time, “Daddy, it’s okay if you forget. Teacher also has bikes that we can use.” Her words were like a healing balm to my soul. If someone forgets to do something that I’ve asked them to do, then I throw a small fit. I need to be more gracious toward the people in my life.

Related post: Learning Doesn’t Only Happen in School

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A Perfect Evening Gone Wrong

The night Amanda gave us a scare.

Last night I put Amanda to bed with one of the new books that she got for her birthday. It’s called Nursery Rhymes & Fairy Tales by Disney. She’s at that age where she loves to recite and sing nursery rhymes and so this book has come at a good time. A neat bonus to the book is that two pages of tiny Disney stickers are included.

Amanda’s evening seemed to have come to a perfect end. I took a photo last night so that I could share with you how happy and peaceful this moment was. It was only a few minutes later and the perfect moment changed into something like a scary movie. I had just gone to my room when Samantha called out to say that Amanda had left her bed (the two girls share a room). I looked down the dark passage and saw her heading the opposite direction. When she heard my voice, she turned around and came towards me. Immediately, I could see something was wrong, because there was a huge dark patch between her nose and mouth.

I quickly got her to my bathroom and in the light I could see that she was covered in blood. Besides what I had already observed on her face, I could now see that it was also on her hands, arms and nightgown. I called out to her dad with alarm, which upset her, but then I switched my tone and she calmed down. Her dad went to check out her bed while I cleaned her up. Her bedding was covered in blood too and some went on her new book, but it wiped off easily and the bedding went straight to the wash. Of course, I didn’t take a photo of that. It had been too unexpected.

None of my kids have ever had a nosebleed like that before, but just as quickly as it had started, it also stopped. Today she was fine without another incident. As they say, “Life happens” and there’s not always much we can do about it. An unexpected nosebleed reminds me that nothing in this life is perfect.

As a teenager, I read Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis and something he explained in there about perfection made a lot of sense to me. I had always had this strong need for things to be perfect. Lewis’ book points out that our understanding and desire for perfection comes from our inner knowing that perfection exists, but not on earth, which can frustrate those who are seeking it. Perfection is found in God and in His heavenly kingdom. One day He will make all things new – even our world – and that day I am waiting for with great expectation.

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Not so Normal



from left to right:
Amanda, Tina, Jessica, Samantha and Jeremiah

I have a fridge magnet that says, “Remember, as far as anyone knows… we are a normal family!” I bought that magnet for me, because I could relate. We might look like perfect parents raising perfect kids, but I know that we’re not. In fact, we’re probably not all that “normal.” We are who we are… the Morleys.

What is “normal” anyway? We all have our own idea of what “normal” looks like, sometimes even placing too much value on it.

Let me illustrate this point with a quote from a fantastic movie, “Soul Surfer.” It’s based on the true story of Bethany Hamilton who lost her arm to a shark attack. At one point in the story she is talking to her mom and says, “Thought I could look normal.”

Her mom replies, “Normal is so overrated.”

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